Sigh
Why, hello there. It’s been a while, and for that I beg your forgiveness, dear readers, but work has been busy and I often return to my apartment exhausted. We put on a show every Sunday, and I am both the first to arrive and the last to leave. I’ve started talking to the cast and other crew members, which is an improvement.
My first three days no one would talk to me. They gave me a wide berth, though I could see them sneaking peeks while my back was turned.
It’s okay though, I’m used to it, I get stares all the time. It’s always either my size or my skin, usually followed by hushed whispers pointing. Sigh. At least now I can afford a decent coat and proper size shoes. The man who hired me talks to me though. He’s old, though not as old as the man below. He says he’s seen others like me, back when he worked in the circus. Though meant to be comforting, I could not help but feel it was a bit backhanded. That did not surprise me, he did hire me, after all. What did surprise me was when one of the actresses came to speak to me after rehearsal. I’d set down a load of sandbags when she waved in my direction and, god help me, I turned around to see who she was waving to. Seeing no one, I realized she was waving to me.
I don’t think you understand how shocking this was to me. People have literally FLED IN TERROR upon seeing me. I have been spat upon, cursed, and at one point I’ve even been threatened with immolation. It’s not quite so bad here in Chicago though, the people seem to be made of sterner stuff.
We talked for some time, even had lunch together, with some of the other crew. She said I reminded her of someone from back home, something about the way I carry myself, and the way I conserve my speech. I’m really no one near as erudite in real-life as I am online, dear readers, something I’m sure some of you have gleaned. Either way, it was good to talk to someone else, especially someone as nice as Sandy. I think I shall endeavour to make a habit of eating lunch with her. I can only hope that she enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers.
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:45 am
Hi! I just came to your blog, and– like Sandy– I’m really drawn to the way you express yourself.
I bet your play’s really something special– would you mind telling me (and your other readers) what the title is?
All the best,
Qara-Xuan
October 23rd, 2012 at 1:06 am
Hello. I just found this blog, and I’m impressed by your writing. It’s very eloquent, and I like the idea of seeing your play, if it ever gets produced!
You mentioned having a Twitter account in one entry, but I can’t find your Twitter username. Would you mind telling it to me? I think you’re worth following.
October 23rd, 2012 at 1:27 am
Oh, I shut down my twitter account, though it was after no small amount of vacillation. I’m simply not one for pithy statements as such. I’m glad to hear this however. The two of you are my first commenters! And you say you are interested in my play, QXZenith? Do you think it would be wise to post a sample? I’m frightfully worried about my work, I don’t think it’s particularly good…
October 23rd, 2012 at 1:33 am
I’d love it if you posted a sample, and I’m sure your other readers would, too!
I mean, nobody expects a first draft to be a masterpiece, but that’s the beauty of sharing it on your blog– we can let you know what we think, in a “safe space” kind of way, and everyone wins!
Looking forward to seeing your work,
Qara-Xuan
October 23rd, 2012 at 2:25 am
Ah, that’s too bad about your Twitter, but I get it. That character limit is tough!
And I agree with QXZenith. It would be great to read a sample of your play! I understand if you’re self conscious about sharing it, though. I’ve written a little myself, and it’s pretty nerve wracking, showing it to somebody else. But if you’re willing to put something out there, I’d love to read it.
October 23rd, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Wonderful blog Adam!
But I must say, you might want to consider talking to a mental health professional about your background and your father. Trust me, talking to someone, actually giving our troubles a voice, is good for the soul. Maybe Sandy could lend you an ear.
It also appears you have arsonphobia, which could become a bigger problem if not treated properly. I wouldn’t want you to have another outburst like the one on the subway. It kinda sounded like you almost lost control for a second.
This is just some friendly advice, please don’t think I’m trying to tell you how to live your life.
October 23rd, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Hello sir! I have been musing upon names for plays, and I think I hit upon one recently with good promise. Can I have a fellow writer’s take on the title “A Shadow Under the Ice”? I hope this isn’t too out of the blue – I just need someone’s opinion, and you seem like such an erudite fellow that I could not help but ask!
October 23rd, 2012 at 7:13 pm
In my opinion at least, I think that such a title is quite evocative, and creates a strong mental image, although I am interpreting it very literally in my visualization. Still, I wouldn’t put it past you to have the title serve as more of a metaphor than a physical descriptor. Nonetheless, I am curious as to this play. I am not very good at critiquing things, or literary criticism, but I do enjoy reading and diving into the worlds of stories, but lack the skills to create such works myself, so I am quite curious as to what you have written.
October 23rd, 2012 at 7:49 pm
On a random tangent, who do you (referring to anyone) plan on voting for in the upcoming election?