A question…
Well, now that I actually have readers, I suppose I can ask this. I believe I would like to make a more concerted effort to meet members of the fairer sex. This is actually an idea I’ve toyed with in the past, but have never had the real desire to attempt it. Rejection, though seemingly harmless, is a powerful fear. Nonetheless, I will take you all up on the offer. I have been informed that for the quickest response, Craigslist is the most apt means of communication, and so that is where I will cast my rod, so to speak.
Below is my proposed ad:
Greetings,
As the title implies, I am new in town and, well, I’m just looking for a friend. I understand that most of these ads are looking for companionship of the, um, more carnal variety, which is not to say that I would be averse to the idea of a more intimate relationship, but that’s not my sole desire.
I want someone I can talk to, someone smart, witty, a woman not afraid to say what she means. I’m discovering new things every day, and it would mean the world to mean if some wonderful lady found it within herself to want to share in these moments with me. I have travelled, been to Antarctica even, and am currently struggling with childhood issues related to my father. I find it would be deceitful of me if I left this detail out.
I should also state that I am what some might refer to as “disfigured”. Of course, I believe I compensate for this with both my height (6’5″), as well as my build. I am immensely strong, so strong in fact that I once tore down a house with my bare hands. I used to have a temper, but I’ve been able to keep it under control. You will have nothing to fear when in my company!
But I am not so entirely defined by my physicality. I also possess a keen intellectual mind, and I am versed in all the classics of literature. I am as happy discussing Chaucer as I am the works of Lope de Vega. I promise that if you contact me, I will take you on a ride you shan’t soon forget! If you would wish to meet me, come to the The Berghoff on 17th West Adam Street, 9:00pm sharp.
What do you think, dear readers?
October 25th, 2012 at 3:19 am
Hi,
Well, you asked for feedback– I hope you won’t be offended by me giving you my honest opinion.
First of all, while it may be known for the quickest response, Craigslist is not the best place to search for a female companion.
That said, your first two paragraphs (minus the last two sentences of the second– I’ll get there) are incredibly sweet. Speaking as a woman myself, I’m certainly charmed.
However.
First of all, while your commitment to honesty is commendable, it’s not a good idea to bring up your current issues in this first ad, if this is how you go about seeking a friend. It’s not deceitful to wait until your first meeting to bring it up, in the natural flow of conversation; more people will be turned off by the strangeness of bringing it up here at all than would be by the issues themselves.
Likewise, your third paragraph is best left out entirely, or greatly rewritten. Like I said before, there’s no need to talk yourself down in this first letter. But more than that, talking about your build/strength and temper is very… off-putting. The way you phrase it makes people uncomfortable, and I feel you’re giving too much information at once.
And the last two sentences of your fourth paragraph are also a little discomforting; the penultimate line sounds rather like a double entendre I have a feeling you didn’t intend. And while I understand you want a swift response, people will be more comfortable meeting you in person after exchanging emails back and forth first, rather than showing up with no prior acquaintance. Perhaps you could give an email address instead of a physical one?
But all this advice was given against my better judgement; really, like I said before, I think you’re going about this the wrong way. If you want to meet women, try just showing up to social events in your community– maybe your friend Sandy can let you know if there’s anything going on? Try speed dating events, or just go to a public place like a mall and try striking up a conversation.
Or, if you’re leery of approaching people first in person, due to the unusual physique you alluded to, try joining an online community. It’s very easy to search for message boards devoted to something you like (especially since you seem to have such a broad scope of experience); you might enjoy chatting online with people who share your interests, and who knows where that may lead?
I apologize for the length of this comment; please think about what I have to say.
Best of luck either way and warm wishes,
Qara-Xuan
October 25th, 2012 at 3:35 am
I think this is a wonderful idea. Women appreciate honesty, and the way you lay your life out, I mean, how could a woman not want to meet you! Seriously. And you are very open and show vulnerability, which some women like as a quality in a man. I say don’t wait, post it as soon as possible!
October 25th, 2012 at 9:04 am
You should definitely “cast your rod”, you never know what you could have caught if you don’t. Best of Luck
October 25th, 2012 at 11:12 am
It’s so nice to see you getting out and about and seeking out some like minded folks to spend your time with.
I think a lot of Zenith’s advice is sound. The letter is just a tad long for an introductory ad. I know you use exactly as many words as you think is nessecary, but perhaps condense it just a little bit. Not saying you should stifle your intellect, obviously! You’re looking for your intellectual equal here. Still your first two paragraphs are by far the best and… well, refer to Zenith he puts it far better than I would.
Go get em’ Adam!
October 25th, 2012 at 11:40 am
Craigslist is really not the place to search for dates. Try OKCupid.com or PlentyofFish.com, those are both free dating sites.
October 25th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
Oh, well, now I feel sheepish. I’ve already posted my ad to Craigslist. Apologies, QXZenith, I should have followed your advice. Still, no harm in trying, yes?
October 25th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
If you’ve already posted, then let’s just see what happens. If you don’t get any responses (or if the responses you get are unsatisfactory), then I’d recommend taking QXZenith’s advice and revising your ad. You can always post another one.
And if you don’t try, you’ll never know how if something might’ve worked out.
October 25th, 2012 at 8:27 pm
Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done.
But… try not to have very high expectations for the replies from Craigslist, okay? I don’t want you to set yourself up for disappointment.
And who knows? It might work out great.
October 26th, 2012 at 7:08 am
So, did anyone show up? Did they meet your expectations?
October 27th, 2012 at 6:02 am
I actually haven’t checked, GuestUser17. It seems my ad has been buried under a pile of newer posts.
And you may be right, QXZenith. Most of these ads appear to be for more…ahem, carnal relations. Not quite what I was looking for, but no harm having tried.